absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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