I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
