3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
