I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'm like, not good at living.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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