Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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