Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
