FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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