Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
