Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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