I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
