I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
