If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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