come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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