gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
