He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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