hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
You have to summon your inner elephant
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
