I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
