Define "chronic" masturbator.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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