If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I am naked and annoyed.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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