16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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