I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
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she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
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i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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