Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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