I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
