So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize