i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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