I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
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