the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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