My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
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