he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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