He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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