community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
