I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
