How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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