i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
