Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
