i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Randomize