I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
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