you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Where did you get a picture of my penis
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
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