I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
