Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
