That's when you crack a 10am beer
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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