last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Randomize
