She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
