why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Brb crying the tears of my youth
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
