yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
