why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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