Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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