Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
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