I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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