Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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