At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
