Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
His nipple licking is glorious
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