OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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