Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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