just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Randomize
