We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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