I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
