Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
