boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
