She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
