Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
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