Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
