now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
