im gay
i know
yea but for you.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
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