Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
