R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
