I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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